Florence curled up on the bed in her room paying rapt attention to her favourite TV discussion programme. “Love is a commonly thrown around four-letter word,” the presenter said. “You must have made statements like ‘I love Spaghetti’ ‘I love roasted chicken’ ‘I love him’ ‘I love her’” “What then is real love?” the presenter asked. Florence ruminating over the statements repeated the question to herself several times. Her attention was drawn back to the programme by the sharp penetrating voice of one of the female members in the discussion panel “To understand love, an individual must know what love is not.”  

            Love is not a feeling: It does not equate with the sense of floating on the clouds like what Hollywood and Nollywood movies and songs portray. It is not the same thing as sex, when two people can meet at a party and thereafter end up in bed in a nearby hotel, probably never to see again. Although real love is often accompanied by strong feelings, it is different from the heart-pounding adrenaline rush you feel when you see that hot guy playing football on the field or the cute girl who makes eye contact as she passes by.”

            Deep in thought, Florence kept muttering to herself, “What then is real love?” She wanted to be sure if what she feels for Jude her fiancé is true love. She comes from a broken family and so much desires a happy and settled home where peace reigns. She was again drawn back to the programme by the voice of an elderly man on the panel who said as if talking directly to her, “Your relationship can be reviewed in the light of these statements I am about to make.”  With rapt attention, Florence listened.

            “Love sees the other person’s flaws and still loves him or her. It does not see him or her as perfect.”

            “Love is selfless, wanting to serve the partner and not demanding to have his or her needs met.”

            “It takes time and patience to build relationships and not just about quickly ‘falling for each other’.”

            “Relationships grow stronger with the presence of love, while a deteriorating relationship may signify the absence of love.”

            “Trust and understanding removes or minimizes incidences of jealous rage that can be damaging to relationships.”

            “Where there is love, differences and quarrels (though not too often) can be used to strengthen relationships.”

            “Love is a choice; a commitment to please and care for your partner no matter the circumstance.”

            The presenter summarized the discussion by saying, “God is love. God as our designer and creator made us with needs for love. This is why we constantly seek love from others but never feel completely satisfied.” “People – friends, family or your partner – will invariably let you down at some point. God wants us to find our need for love and acceptance in Him first because we were made for God’s love and only His love can fill that need we deeply crave for. It is only after experiencing the unconditional love that God has for us that we can begin to love others with truly and really.”

Do you want to know more about God’s unconditional love?

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